Do you ever feel stopped in life?  I mean, don’t you sometimes feel that people or circumstances are strategically placed in your way to hold you back?  Ever feel that you have big dreams and desires but you always bump up against someone else and unless they change, you feel you can’t get what you want? For instance, your team at work isn’t giving their full effort and so you feel your company can’t be as successful as it could be because of that.  Or you would love to be closer with your spouse but they just aren’t being very emotionally available and so you feel that unless that changes, there is no hope. Do you notice what these two examples have in common?  They are both examples of blaming someone else for what we don’t have.  It’s called the game of victim, and it’s a favorite game amongst many of us.  Why would we want to play the game of being a victim you ask?  Well, it’s quite simple.  Being the victim lets us off the hook.  As long as it’s … [Read more...]

What do we call that beginning stage of a relationship?  The honeymoon stage, right?  It’s that romantic stage where we see the other person as perfect!  Even little things that usually bug us we think are so cute.  And the other person sees us also as perfect.  Now, this concept also applies at work.  We start a new job and everything is perfect.  We love the people and we want it to work out, and everything is great…in the beginning. What do we know to be true about the honeymoon stage?  If you said “it doesn’t last long” you are in line with the majority of people out there. But, why doesn’t it last long?  What gets in the way of us experiencing this honeymoon stage every day at work, even after 15 years?  What is it that has 9% of senior executives admit to being fully DISENGAGED at their jobs?  What is it that has 45% of American workers admitting to HATING their jobs? Not to mention how this shows up in our personal lives.  The current divorce … [Read more...]

When was the last time you let yourself play?  I mean REALLY play?  Did you ever notice how we as adults think that we have to BUY fun?  When we want to have some fun, what do we do?  Go to the movies, go on vacation, go on a shopping spree, go skiing.  Are these things fun?  Absolutely!  Do they require us to buy something?  You bet. I believe that the best kind of fun is the kind that is generated from within us, and it requires no purchase.  Don’t get me wrong, there is NOTHING wrong with purchasing all of those great things, but the kind of fun I am talking about can be generated at any given moment, at anytime, anywhere.  How do I know this?  Do you have or ever had little kids?  Did you ever watch them play? Little children and we were all little children once, have this unbridled ability to bring out the fun in anything that happens to be in front of them.  For example, my son is 3 years old.  And ever since he was a baby, just old enough to reach out and … [Read more...]

In the last post we talked about the importance of holding others accountable in an effective way.  In this article we will explore the importance of our own accountability.  In truth, there is nothing more important in life than our word.  Our word can make or break our reputation, our self worth and overall-our success. Let’s look at how our integrity relates to producing results in life.  Some people feel that results are the same as having no results plus a good excuse.  That somehow it’s OK that we don’t produce what we said we would, as long as we have a really good excuse!  Nothing could be further from the truth.  The only thing a good excuse is good for is creating resentment, frustration, and dissatisfaction.  The more we use excuses, the more other people will come to count on us as a big excuse.  They will trust that we will not follow through, and all they will get is a great excuse.  This is not the formula for success. The formula for success is … [Read more...]

Why is accountability such an issue for us in life?  Why is so hard to hold people accountable and to be held accountable?  Do you ever feel that you are not very successful at handling it when people break their word to you? First let’s look at what happens when others break their word.  Often times we get very upset when others don’t follow through like they said they would, and the reason for this is what we interpret their actions to mean.  We often make the assumption that their actions meant something about us.  We take it personally.  For example, my husband was late for dinner and I interpret that to say he doesn’t care about us.  Or my boss didn’t acknowledge the great job I did on a project and I interpret that to say he doesn’t appreciate me.  It’s never what happened that has us upset, it’s what we make it mean.  The same is true with people breaking their word to us.  We assume they meant to hurt us, or don’t care, or that we are not important … [Read more...]